Music Please!

Just some songs I'm in love with at the moment! Also, if there is a guy out there that can sing and play guitar and wants to do that for me, I would be ever so happy...because a few of these I would LOVE to do!

Mumble.

   I have a new goal. I want to fully prepare myself for Sunday. This means getting all my homework and studying done before Sunday, waking up a few hours earlier, studying talks and preach my gospel, and reflecting and pondering among other things. I think I've neglected that spiritual aspect of Sunday and really taking advantage of the mornings since church starts at 1:30 now. Today I started it and I noticed a huge difference in the way I felt the spirit and received the lessons.
   And now onto other things: How about the fact that I love my friends? Seriously, I have the best friends ever. They are such examples of friendship and through their testimonies. AAAANNNDDDD they make me laugh. And yeah I love them:) I've been feeling super grateful for them lately.
    Okay also, whoever has the new anberlin CD can make me a copy. Please and Thank You.
    Also I went on a hike yesterday to Hanging Rock. It. Was. Gorgeous. I know I'll be super sad when I live somewhere else and the fall isn't like it is here I will be glad I had the 952000 pictures I took of the leaves and hike with me. Seriously. I can't get enough of the beautiful world we have. And this gorgeous weather.
     Another Thing Is that I miss my siblings. I love them so much and would love to have us all live closer and be able to hang out and such! But phone calls will have to do for now!
    So that's it. I'm not in a typing mood but I had stuff to get out...like the first two paragraphs. And I can't get the words right so this will have to do:)

Hazy

    Really things are very clear to me right now. Actually, that's a lie. Nothing is clear to me. Right now the plan is to stay here and finish school. I think I might actually like that plan. But as far as the rest of life, it's pretty Hazy. Two songs that I love that just came on Pandora and are basically what I am feeling lately: Gravity-Sara Bareilles and Hazy-Rosi Golan. Look em up cause they are wonderful! So basically yeah.
     This is a super random post for the week but I guess here it is! So basically this week I got super homesick. Not for places but for people. My best friends are all scattered and I was just stuck. But it's okay because I realized I have some pretty awesome people here:) I've been trying to look into some summer jobs that pay well cause I am buh-roke. So that would be nice!
     This weekend is fall break and I am staying at home-aka I cleaned. Pretty fun! Well last night was girls night and it was super and today was church and that's pretty awesome always.
     Sometimes I wonder if I lived when Joseph Smith did if I would have joined the church. I'm glad I have ancestors who did. 
     I wish I was a mind reader. Because some people you just can't figure out. Never. Some people you catch on to and some people it's instant. Me? For the most part I'm an open book. A lot of people have told me my face says it all. But I do have some stuff I try to keep not posted on my face. Other people you just want to know what they are thinking or what their plans are or their next step. That's why. But I never want to be a mind reader when I do something embarrassing. Because that would not be fun.
      Anyways, I'm kind of bland tonight. Sorry! I'll leave you with a picture of a kitty named Gimpy.

Life Is Amazing

    Sometimes you just have to remember how amazing life is and how amazing the Lord is. I feel so extremely blessed to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I always have peace and happiness in my life if I am following Christ and have faith in the Lord that everything will be okay. Twice a year we have something called General Conference where apostles and the prophet of our church speak to us and give us divine revelation and just general advice. Two major things about this conference. The first is that, even though I have yet to watch the first two sessions from Saturday, I found out that they lowered the mission age. Young Men age 19 can go out and serve missions for our church for two years. The age for Young Women was 21. Yesterday they officially lowered the age to 18 for men and 19 for women. This opened up the opportunity to serve a mission now. I don't know if it is the right thing for me, but I am so excited to see some of my closest friends serving missions so soon! And I can't wait to read the talks tomorrow on www.lds.org (that's right, look it up tomorrow if you want to read and see what amazing things the Lord is telling us this time!)
     The second thing about this conference was what I needed to hear. I need to rely on the Lord's timing and have more faith in the fact that He knows everything. He has a plan and a mission for me. I need to trust and not rush into anything and not rush my life. Life is meant to be enjoyed one experience at a time. Everything will fall into place as it is needed. I just need to remember that He always has a plan for me that is so much better than I expect and it will happen in the right time. He has my best interest in mind.
     In other news, I had a pretty slacked off week. I didn't get a lot done even though I should have an had the time to...sometimes I'm just silly like that and forget. So Saturday I went to the Archaeology and Heritage Day at Jordan Lake for extra credit. It was actually really neat! We saw tons of booths with information about NC archaeological sites, a man who collected all sorts of spear points and rocks from dig sites, snow cones, hot dogs, peacock feathers, face painting, chickens and bunnies, a miniature pony, owls, and a saw and log. Pretty neat and had a good time getting to know some of my classmates that came with! I went home and tried to watch conference on my computer, which ended up not working cause of my wifi, but then I went to a concert! I know a few guys who are in a band called Airial Down(yeah, look them up because you won't be disappointed!) and they were so awesome! I'll post a few pictures of the weekend next time I get on here because my photo thing is being stupid tonight.

I hope everyone has a great and fantastic week and finds a chance to serve someone each day!

I Stand All Amazed

   I love church. I love the gospel and I love Christ. I just love it! I get so excited talking about it(like when I talk about FALL! And elephants and sunny weather and thunderstorms. Which is a discussion for later when you have an hour and 43 minutes)! But church. Every Sunday, I get to go to church, take the Sacrament and feel the power of the Atonement, listen and be strengthened by other people and their testimonies of God, and strengthen my knowledge of the scriptures.
   This past weekend and what has really been on my mind all week can be summed up by the hymn "I Stand All Amazed". I really do just stand all amazed. The love that Christ has for me and you, is so personal and so profound. Something my friend Liz said tonight really hit me. She said that our parents love us a lot and they can't even express how much they love us. But God loves us so much more than that. His capacity for love is infinite and He loves each of us that much.
    I think the words in that hymn are so direct and so close to what I feel. I do "tremble to know that for me He was crucified. That for me a sinner He suffered, He bled and died.". I really cannot express how much gratitude I feel when I think about the atonement and the pain He felt for me and the actions He did for me. All so that I can be reunited with Him and God again and I can become perfect. In my times of deep pain and struggle, I know that Christ has felt absolutely every ounce of that pain. He knows exactly what I have been through and am going through. He is so aware of everything. I feel so unworthy of this great gift I have been given.
    Which brings me to another hymn that I love-"Because I Have Been Given Much". My favorite verse says "Because I have been sheltered, fed by Thy good care I cannot see anothers lack and I not share my glowing fire, my loaf of bread, my roof's safe shelter overhead that he too maybe be comforted.". That really sums up how I feel most days (it sounds terrible saying most days, but sometimes you get prideful and forget! We are all human!). I just get so overwhelmed with gratitude that I know I have not been given this great of a life for me to just stand around and marvel at it. I have been called to share what I have with others. This not only goes for temporal things, but spiritual things as well. My testimony and faith, spiritual gifts and talents, and the biggest blessing of all is the gospel. I have been given these things not so I can use them for myself, but so I can go out and help bring others to Christ and help them share the joy I feel and the immense gratitude and pure love I feel.
     When I think about these things it's so hard for me to be upset when one little thing in my life is not right. And I feel terrible in saying that that is how I have been feeling the past few days is sorry for myself because I don't have the one thing I want. But that's not why I am here. I am not here to wish away my life and to have my heart set on the things that I want, no matter how good or bad that thing is. I am here to help others and be a tool in the Lord's hands. He has given me the blessings I need and the knowledge I need to help others in any way possible.
     I guess you could say these two hymns have really impacted me this weekend and really opened my eyes again. Which is exactly what I needed! I can only pray I am successful this week in doing what I have been sent here to do!

I Stand All Amazed:

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me
Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me
I tremble to know that for me he was crucified
That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died

Chorus:
Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me enough to die for me
Oh, it is wonderful
Wonderful to me

I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine
That he should extend his great love unto such as I
Sufficient to own, to redeem and to justify

(Repeat chorus)

I think of his hands, pierced and bleeding to pay my debt
Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget?
No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat
Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet

Because I Have Been Given Much:
Because I have been given much
I too must give
Because of thy great bounty, Lord
Each day I live
I shall divide my gifts from thee
With every brother that I see
Who has the need of help from me

Because I have been sheltered
Fed by thy good care
I cannot see another's lack
And I not share
My glowing fire, my loaf of bread
My roof's safe shelter overhead
That he, too, may be comforted

Because of thy life's mission, Lord
I too will serve
I'll leave the comfort of my home
To teach thy word
I'll seek thy sheep who've gone astray
And those who've never known the way
I will make thy work my work today

I shall give love to those in need
I'll show that love by word and deed
Thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed

[Insert Cheesy Friend Quote Here] for my Soapbox.

   I should be writing my paper on the Paris Peace Conference of 1919, but something has been gnawing at me for a few days now. And it's a simple little question, but I feel like every day there comes a time when I am disappointed at how "friendship" has become defined to the people I'm surrounded with.
*Before I go any further, this is not an attack on any of my friends. I love you all. I love everyone. But there are idiots in the world that my friends deal with and I hear about it and it makes me sad. That's all this is. It's the other idiots.*

   Yesterday while babysitting, she told me about a girl in her class. This girl is 9 years old, and I didn't think this started so young, but I guess it does. She's been telling everyone in her class lies about Gabby and spreading rumors. Then they got paired up for a project and she had no regard for the way they were supposed to do it. It kills me to hear Gabby talk about how much she hurts because of this. She said that her girl friends don't believe it, but all the boys do. Knowing Gabby, the boys are some of her best friends. Keep in mind that this is the 4th grade so there is obviously a boy/girl line, but no matter what, being publicly humiliated isn't fun.
Rule #1: Be Kind. To Everyone. 
 There is no other way to sum that up. Just smile at everyone. Because life is an amazing gift and journey and no matter what, all we have in this life are the people we meet and relationships we build, knowledge we gain, and wherever our faith lies and our testimonies of that. When you get to heaven you aren't going to escape these people. Just remember that;)


   I really like people. I admit that I am a lot less social now than I was in High School, but even now I run into problems with people and how they handle information. One of the worst things in the world is finding out something you said to one person got passed around and twisted. We are all human. It's so unhealthy for us to keep every emotion and thought inside. Some people talk about it just so naturally, but some people like to keep to themselves. Both are fine, but the people who keep it inside need to get it out sometimes. At least to one person, just so they can have someone to talk with and get insight and just vent sometimes. Venting is healthy! The people who talk about it naturally need to remind themselves that sometimes it is not all about you. And not everything has to be a big deal. I'm with that second group. I vent to anyone and everyone about things and I have really been trying to work on that the past few weeks. It's not hard, but I'm actually liking having a personal and private life. Back to the whole keeping your nose out of everyone's business thing. If someone comes to you and tells you a deep dark secret, it's hard not to go to tell your best friend. But you know what? Then that best friend goes and tells their best friend and they tell their best friend and pretty soon, your game of telephone has just exploded into a game of megaphone. And that person who had the original secret now has a lot of explaining to do and a lot of embarrassment. No one likes to be in that situation. Everyone hates to be on that end. So really, if someone tells you something, keep yer mouth shut. They told YOU because they wanted to tell YOU and not tell Susy over there and Bill next to her.
Rule #2: Keep Your Mouth Shut. 
The explanation was above. Just don't tell business that isn't yours.


  The final issue I bring up today regarding friends (mostly because this post is getting way too long, not because I don't have anymore friend rules) is focusing on the other person. We get so caught up in ourselves, that we forget the world doesn't revolve around us. We have so much to offer the world, but the world we are offering it to is our own if we don't reach out and try to enter someone else's. Everyone is broken. Sometimes we are the one's with the glue that others need and sometimes they have the glue for us. But if one person is carrying the weight in the friendship and is always the one the other has to lean on, it's not healthy. If they are not carrying the same weight than someone gets hurt. If we actually pay attention to our friends lives and keep in touch with them, it is a very rewarding friendship. I know a lot of people, who are there for their friends all the time. I have some amazing friends. They always know just how to fix people, exactly what to say, and exactly what to do. THAT is what a true friend is all about. Doing little things for each other, like texting them to tell them good luck on a test they have that day or making cookies just because or listening to their favorite music instead of yours in the car or actually listening to your answers when they ask the same question "how are you?" every day and asking follow up questions. When you have a real, true friendship, these things will not be hard. And friends like these don't come by so often. I have been truly blessed in my life to have these friends.
Rule #3: Pay Attention

Let's Re-Cap my rules:
1. Be Kind
2. Keep Your Mouth Shut
3. Pay Attention

All three of these just stem from one common theme-the Golden Rule. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". It's so easy to say, but before you do something or say something next time, just think of that rule. Would you like it if someone said that about you? Would you like it if your friend decided it was your turn to pick where to eat? Would you like it if someone remembered the little details?
I write this mainly because I have been annoyed with the amount of hurt I have heard about in people I know lately because of people not following these rules. But honestly, we are all human and we all make mistakes. I know I am terrible at following these rules and I wouldn't be surprised if my friends secretly hated me (haha...I kid..hopefully :) ). But if just once every day we thought about the Golden Rule, I wonder how much better our friendships would be. So this is my challenge to myself and to everyone who reads this. Repeat the Golden Rule.

Good News! This Week Is Over

    But really. I know I didn't post two weeks ago, but if only you knew this past week!! Which you will know now:)
    Can I state the fact that I am only taking 15 credit hours? Which really isn't a lot. But add a part time job and church into the mix and it's a little more work to keep up than originally planned! But I got this! This past week was torture. Absolutely torture. It started off with having three exams, a paper (which included basically reading a whole book before writing), and two quizzes. Well apparently Life decided I needed a little break and my History professor emailed and said the essay won't be due for another week. Crossed that one off the list!
    I don't remember much about the beginning of the week...Just breakfast Tuesday morning that Koury made for us! MMmmmm Bacon, Eggs, and Cinnamon Rolls:)
    Well studying all evening Tuesday night and having another allergic reaction to a bee sting which resulted in some Benadryl turned into Wednesday morning sleeping in...past 10...past my exam. I think I about died when I woke up at 10:20 and realized my exam was taking place at. that. moment. So being me, I almost cried, emailed my teacher and explained the benadryl and the fact I had 3 alarms set that morning but none went off or I didn't wake up and all of a sudden I'm freaking out. Luckily, she let me take my exam the next day. Turns out Thursday I had another exam to take in class and one online due. Hm. The fact that I was so nervous about sleeping in again made it so I didn't fall asleep more than 30 minutes at a time, resulting in probably 1.5-2 hours of sleep overall. Longest Day Of My Life. Needless to say, I called into work that afternoon.
    So it was also Hayley's birthday that day so we went out to Harpers for dinner and had a grand old time! She also got a fish for her birthday, which I thought I wanted until I realized that fish are super boring. And I want a kitten cause they cuddle up with you and you don't really have to take care of them too much. But then I remembered they are mean. And I'm allergic. Maybe I'm just better off with my puppy that lives with my parents.
    Friday came and I had a few quizzes and a discussion to write for my online class and then that night I got to see my Jenny!! Now for those who don't understand, Jenny is two years younger than me, but totally is me. Like get this: she worked at Chuck E. Cheese this summer. Um, hello! I worked at Chuck E. Cheese three years ago! And she is just awesome. It was so nice to see her! Later we had another game night with Dallas, Amanda, and Savannah, which included dark hide and seek, Mofia, and the game of things.
    Saturday I helped a girl from church with her senior project. We played Mud Volleyball as a fundraiser for breast cancer awareness! We had a team made up of 6 people and played some really fun games in the grass and then actually won against a team! Whaaaat!? And then of course our mud games where we won against the same team and then completely lost, but being in the mud and having fun with my team was so great! Now showering was not fun. My feet are still stained orange and it looks like I have one of those rolled in Doritos spotty tans. But it was worth it!
    Tonight was the regular dinner/laundry at the home night and it was a blast! Especially with our new friends:) And "My Fair Lady" is good as always, but sometimes I forget how long it really is...
   So at least the weekend was fun! Considering the entire week I was not sure I would make it another hour. And you know what? I pulled it off. Even went to institute one night and made A's on all three tests. Like. A. Boss. And a B on the test the week before that I was sure I failed. But really, it's before midnight and I'm positive I will be asleep within the next half hour. How do I do that again? It will be nice to be reminded!