Blogging On A Plane

I could come up with all sorts of creative and adventurist titles for this post, but really life is the biggest adventure of all and this is just a blip in it. But a very deep blip. Yes, children, today - right now in fact- I am on a plane headed to Accra, Ghana, Africa (okay, you caught me, technically I'm on my way to London and THEN Accra. But it's just a technicality). I've dreamed of this for so long and it's here. This vague idea that has been crowding my head for years is turning tangible, although the biggest part will not be tangible.

Here's the Stitch: I am going to Ghana through a program called IVHQ (International Volunteer Headquarters). They partner with local nonprofits and place volunteers in the areas they are needed. So the exact locations of where I will be living for the next three weeks are pretty murky until Wednesday. I have asked to be placed in an orphanage with one of these nonprofits. I'll be living in either a volunteer house or a home stay with a local family and get the whole African experience.

This trip started forming back in March and it just so happens that at that point I became so busy that Africa felt like a far distant concept in my mind. Even the week before I left it still felt like a dream and I was merely going through the motions of obtaining a VISA, shopping, and packing. Just being excited because I knew it was going to happen, but not feeling the reality of it all. And then it hit. Saturday night. I was lying in bed, just thinking about what it would be like and it was overwhelming. I kid you not all the tears started flowing. The pictures I had seen became real. The stories, the people, the environment - it was real. I realized that I would be there. Me. There. In Africa. First the excitement jitters hit hard. And then the rest of that sentence kicked in - Next Week. And all the fears I had about the environment, people, culture, food, planes, and anything under the sun flooded my mind. "What am I even doing? Why am I going? I know nothing about these people! I hate bugs. What if the kids don't like me? Or the other volunteers?" and don't even get me started about the safety issue concerns that rose to my mind.

I felt weak, not suited for the job I had promised to do, and all out of courage. Although the thought of Africa was a distant one for the longest time, as people asked what I would do in certain situations and about different problems, these big concerns were brushed off and the shelf in my mind was cleared for memories and happy things about my trip. But all of a sudden the shelf was filled with the harsh ideas that could be my reality. And the shelf broke. Down came the blocks that held it up - my confidence and faith. And I struggled.

I struggled up until this morning. Sunday at church and my fathers blessing last night were the highlights of the weekend. I kept a happy face while talking about the exciting adventure I would embark on while masking the insecurities I felt about my ability to serve these children in a capacity in which they needed. But Sunday School held a very important lesson for me. Talking about spiritual gifts always makes me excited. It makes us all different and unique and I absolutely love it! I realized that the gifts I have that will be useful to these children will be mainly my love and faith. Having a Christ-like love for all is definitely a spiritual gift I desire to have. I really do have a Christ-like love for all, but sometimes my selfishness and desires creep in, allowing that gift to be blocked. Actually, a lot of times that is blocked. This trip will shake me to my bones. I am going to be giving these children my all. Because they deserve to have that given to them at least once in their lives. They don't have mothers and fathers to show them love and what being unselfish really means. They don't have parents to help them realize their potential and help bring them to the knowledge that they are so important in this world as unique children of God. They rely on the caretaker of the orphanage, who has sometimes up to 80 children to look after. Although I am only there for 3 weeks and they will forget my name and my face, I want them to remember that they felt Christ's love for them at some point in their lives. And I want to be the means through which they can plant that seed of love in their hearts.

I have always known I have been blessed with great Faith. I don't doubt that when I pray it is listened to by the Lord and will be answered in the best way possible according to His plan. I know that I am a daughter of God and I have been designed in His image and given the gifts and abilities that make me unique to helping His plan go through. I want these kids to know that. I want them to know that no matter what, it will all be okay; that even though they were born into these harsh circumstances, it always works out for the best.

To let these things happen and the Lord to work through me, I needed to remember the real reason I wanted to come. Yes, part of it was selfish. I wanted to get out and explore the world and see and do things people don't see and do on a regular basis. I wanted to be different and do something exciting with life. I wanted to learn and grow and know about myself. But if I just wanted to do that I could study abroad. I wanted to serve. I wanted to get down on my hands and knees and be put in these harsh circumstances because I've been so blessed in my life, I wanted to share my blessings with others. I wanted these children to realize they are amazing and capable of doing the impossible. I wanted them to have a good time and taste love from another person. I cannot replace their parents. No one can. But while they are living in these impoverished circumstances, I can help them be happy and learn. I can help expand their minds and nurture them with Christ's love. I know that He already shows them He loves them through so many ways I cannot wait to see, but the physical hug and physical person being there to listen and to talk to is a blessing I have been blessed with through my own family and very dear friends I consider family. These children are already blessed by being the most important thought the Lord has. I'm just selfish and want to feel like I have made the slightest difference. And apparently, going to Africa was the only way to do that in my mind.

I've learned that we can make a difference wherever we are. We don't need to fly to Accra and stay in an orphanage for three weeks. We can start in our own homes and give love to our family members who rely on us. We can start at our school by smiling, holding the door open, or going the extra mile and befriending those in need and being loyal friends to all the people we associate with as friends. We can start in our communities by volunteering and giving our time and efforts to organizations and churches that need our help. Africa just happened to be part of my big life adventure. And it's going to change me and the way I look at service from now on. It's going to change my view of the world from now on. Although I feel inadequate because of my lack of certain traits, I feel strong and brave because my Father in Heaven wants the best for these children more. I feel blessed that He trusts me enough to use me as His hands in this country and small village to help touch the lives of His precious children. I feel honored that He would allow me the ability to grow and learn and progress in life.

Please keep me and the children I am serving in your prayers for the next three weeks! Thank you for all the support and love and guidance! Three weeks is such a short amount of time and I will be back home before you even knew I left!

Also, sorry this post was deathly long. I guess a 9 hour flight after not talking to anyone for 7 hours really takes its toll...If you made it this far, congrats!