I should be writing my paper on the Paris Peace Conference of 1919, but something has been gnawing at me for a few days now. And it's a simple little question, but I feel like every day there comes a time when I am disappointed at how "friendship" has become defined to the people I'm surrounded with.
*Before I go any further, this is not an attack on any of my friends. I love you all. I love everyone. But there are idiots in the world that my friends deal with and I hear about it and it makes me sad. That's all this is. It's the other idiots.*
Yesterday while babysitting, she told me about a girl in her class. This girl is 9 years old, and I didn't think this started so young, but I guess it does. She's been telling everyone in her class lies about Gabby and spreading rumors. Then they got paired up for a project and she had no regard for the way they were supposed to do it. It kills me to hear Gabby talk about how much she hurts because of this. She said that her girl friends don't believe it, but all the boys do. Knowing Gabby, the boys are some of her best friends. Keep in mind that this is the 4th grade so there is obviously a boy/girl line, but no matter what, being publicly humiliated isn't fun.
Rule #1: Be Kind. To Everyone.
There is no other way to sum that up. Just smile at everyone. Because life is an amazing gift and journey and no matter what, all we have in this life are the people we meet and relationships we build, knowledge we gain, and wherever our faith lies and our testimonies of that. When you get to heaven you aren't going to escape these people. Just remember that;)
I really like people. I admit that I am a lot less social now than I was in High School, but even now I run into problems with people and how they handle information. One of the worst things in the world is finding out something you said to one person got passed around and twisted. We are all human. It's so unhealthy for us to keep every emotion and thought inside. Some people talk about it just so naturally, but some people like to keep to themselves. Both are fine, but the people who keep it inside need to get it out sometimes. At least to one person, just so they can have someone to talk with and get insight and just vent sometimes. Venting is healthy! The people who talk about it naturally need to remind themselves that sometimes it is not all about you. And not everything has to be a big deal. I'm with that second group. I vent to anyone and everyone about things and I have really been trying to work on that the past few weeks. It's not hard, but I'm actually liking having a personal and private life. Back to the whole keeping your nose out of everyone's business thing. If someone comes to you and tells you a deep dark secret, it's hard not to go to tell your best friend. But you know what? Then that best friend goes and tells their best friend and they tell their best friend and pretty soon, your game of telephone has just exploded into a game of megaphone. And that person who had the original secret now has a lot of explaining to do and a lot of embarrassment. No one likes to be in that situation. Everyone hates to be on that end. So really, if someone tells you something, keep yer mouth shut. They told YOU because they wanted to tell YOU and not tell Susy over there and Bill next to her.
Rule #2: Keep Your Mouth Shut.
The explanation was above. Just don't tell business that isn't yours.
The final issue I bring up today regarding friends (mostly because this post is getting way too long, not because I don't have anymore friend rules) is focusing on the other person. We get so caught up in ourselves, that we forget the world doesn't revolve around us. We have so much to offer the world, but the world we are offering it to is our own if we don't reach out and try to enter someone else's. Everyone is broken. Sometimes we are the one's with the glue that others need and sometimes they have the glue for us. But if one person is carrying the weight in the friendship and is always the one the other has to lean on, it's not healthy. If they are not carrying the same weight than someone gets hurt. If we actually pay attention to our friends lives and keep in touch with them, it is a very rewarding friendship. I know a lot of people, who are there for their friends all the time. I have some amazing friends. They always know just how to fix people, exactly what to say, and exactly what to do. THAT is what a true friend is all about. Doing little things for each other, like texting them to tell them good luck on a test they have that day or making cookies just because or listening to their favorite music instead of yours in the car or actually listening to your answers when they ask the same question "how are you?" every day and asking follow up questions. When you have a real, true friendship, these things will not be hard. And friends like these don't come by so often. I have been truly blessed in my life to have these friends.
Rule #3: Pay Attention
Let's Re-Cap my rules:
1. Be Kind
2. Keep Your Mouth Shut
3. Pay Attention
All three of these just stem from one common theme-the Golden Rule. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". It's so easy to say, but before you do something or say something next time, just think of that rule. Would you like it if someone said that about you? Would you like it if your friend decided it was your turn to pick where to eat? Would you like it if someone remembered the little details?
I write this mainly because I have been annoyed with the amount of hurt I have heard about in people I know lately because of people not following these rules. But honestly, we are all human and we all make mistakes. I know I am terrible at following these rules and I wouldn't be surprised if my friends secretly hated me (haha...I kid..hopefully :) ). But if just once every day we thought about the Golden Rule, I wonder how much better our friendships would be. So this is my challenge to myself and to everyone who reads this. Repeat the Golden Rule.
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